It's been a while, but tonight I feel led to write to you all, my dear readers, and my beloved friends. Please forgive my absence, my life has been filled to the brim with blessings, but with blessings comes responsibility, and ultimately a time commitment. I pray that this letter portrays the position my heart is in clearly, and that you be blessed while you participate in my life through my recorded words. Who knows, this may be another tame letter where I pour out my heart with the best of my vocabulary, or if the Lord wills it, He may pour out his Spirit on me, in which case this letter will explode and potentially turn into novel. Either way, here is my life:
There must be many things you don't know about me. If you knew everything, I doubt you would stop to read this. I am a product of an unstable home. Now let me define that by examples here. By unstable, I mean inconsistent; a good week could result in several bad days. Even hourly, peace and tranquility may give way to turmoil and shouting. This trend is steadily on the decline, but occasionally I find myself caught up in it. Let's take it back to the source. My parents were married twice to each other; they were separated and came back together a number of years before I was born. Until recently, I never felt like their reconciliation was complete. Constant arguing and uproar in the household was an audible clue to me growing up that there was tension between my parents. I love them, but that environment was rough for me growing up. If you have known me for a while, you will be able to recognize what I just described. The purpose of this letter is not a bitterness rant against my parents, rather I wish to speak of the work that Christ has done, and is continuing in our home, and how humbled and blessed I am to be able to experience this in my 20th year.
This whole subject is a tender one for me still. I am not yet far enough removed from the bad memories; I still remember recent rough days. Moreover, I deeply love my parents, and in growing up and learning to submit, I am moved by how much I really owe them. As a result, I delight in admonishing them as the wise son in Proverbs.
Unity and a shared vision is something I have always desired for this house, but in my folly, I never took ample strides towards either. In October, everything began to change. I was attending the City Church for a few months on my own now, while my mom was attending Westminster Chapel (great church that I grew up in) and my dad was not going anywhere.
Mark 3:25 says:
If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
And the paraphrase in Matthew 12:25 reads:
Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand."
Now these two scriptures certainly described my home. Everyone had their own agenda. Nobody helped each other. Everyone had their own set of expectations. Nobody had peace. Well my mother had seen good changes in my attitude since going to the new church, and she delighted in what she saw so she promptly accepted my invitation to accompany me to Sunday services. The following week, my dad followed suit, and for the first time in several years we all went to the same location on Sunday mornings. PHEW! Well that is only the beginning, praise God. Since then, my dad and I have grown increasingly close, and as I wrote earlier in another letter, I can proudly declare that he is one of my closest friends, and I love him dearly. I also have since learned a finer respect for my beautiful mother, and nothing feels better than to serve her and to hear her tell me that she recognizes my effort, and blesses me. I now accept correction from them, and they pour out encouragement on me like I have never experienced. It breaks my heart that it took me 20 years to finally get a clue that this is the type of family relationship the Lord desires for me.
Once I think of all the time wasted bickering, I can’t help but cry. None of it was worth it... I would take it back and submit everything if I had the option. Now, all I have is the future, and I pray for my parent's health so that we may continue to build together. I still have so much to learn from them! I thank God for keeping us together thus far. It just hurts to think of them not being around, so here I will digress so that I do not get too emotional while I write this.
Blessings have followed me since I began respecting my parents. Physical healing in my body, elimination of debt, success in school, protection on the roads, peace in my heart, financial support, acceptance to SPU...I could write a list of blessings that stretches so wide I wouldn't be able to see both ends at once.
Hebrews 13:17 -
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Proverbs 19:17 -
He who obeys instructions guards his life,
But he who is contemptuous of his ways will die.
These two verses are the premise of my blessing. I have been protected from so many ill situations because of listening to the advice of my parents, rather than being devious and rebelling against their word. I have not been pulled over since the first week of January (a record for me honestly, considering I have been pulled over 28 times in my 3 year driving career) and I have stayed clear of accidents and injuries. I have also not been sick in a year and a half, swiftly approaching two years. Disputes among friends is also at an all time low, and I believe all of this to be because I am submitting to the will of my earthly father, as he has been instituted by my Heavenly Father. Obedience results in peace.
The highest calling for a child in his father's household is to obey his father's commands. I am glad I know this now; I pray that I will be able to teach my children in much the same way. Now that life is progressing and I am finally growing up, I have all these things I still need to learn. Pray that I continue to listen, cuz I can't get enough of that wisdom these days. Thanks for bearing with my letter; I wish to write more so that my thoughts remain coherent when I transcribe them. Lord willing, this will serve as an introduction to more and more scripts that I may really go off on. May you be blessed, and smile as you recall the content of this letter, and may you enjoy the peace and protection that the Obedience in the Lord provides.
Michael Nicholas Hallak
Sunday, May 31, 2009
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