To my future wife, I do not know who you are yet, but that doesn't stop me from thinking of who you could be, not who you might be, but who you could be. When will I encounter you, and do I already know you? What are you doing right now; are you thinking of me too? Questions like these arise when I think of you, whoever you are. I really wish I could just take a peek and know, so that I can get ready for you.
I know I am not yet in a position to worry about this, But I cannot help it. It is my desire that the next woman I pursue is the last woman I will give my heart to. I pray for you every day darling that the Lord is working in you to be a righteous woman, that our savior guards your heart, and that He protects you. It makes me happy to think that this is already the case. I pray that you forgive me for making the mistake of giving up things in my life that I should have reserved to you. I want to make it a point that now that I am following Jesus, my life of preparation for you will reflect my desire to serve him.
If I indeed humble myself and allow Christ to do the searching for me, I believe with the most certainty that He will make it evident to me when I have found you.
Proverbs 20:24 - A man's steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?
Proverbs 3:5, 6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
I certainly don’t know my way haha. Another thing that was revealed to me is if I go looking for you and rely on my own knowledge, I will find the wrong woman. My God blesses me in ways that I can’t conceive on my own or imagine, and I believe that to be true for you, that you will exceed imagination in how wonderful you could possibly be. You are a choice too perfect for me to make, so I lean on the understanding of the Lord.
It’s a good thing that the Lord directs my steps. I pray that you realize that when I begin to look for you, I will find you, and that you don't have to go looking for yourself; the Lord directs my steps right? At this point, I don’t even know all the traits and characteristics that I want in my future wife. I pray that Christ forms these desires, and not the world. Christ is in control of my relationships, and is serving as a rubric to measure my aptitude as a one to lead you, just as he leads in my life. I still have a long ways to go, so be patient as I sort out my career, and my calling, and my service to the Lord, with the stress on the latter. Until I can do that, and have a handle on my own life, I wouldn't dream of trying to lead you. Just know, and be confident in the fact that when I find you, we will both be ready, because Christ will lead me to you, and we will be a blessing to each other, and to the body of Christ. So until then, I have given up looking, for I know you and I need more time, and I want the glory of the Lord to be complete in his timeline.
Perhaps you will read this and be unaffected by its contents. Perhaps you will be inspired to wait for the man who the Lord has prepared for you, regardless if it is me. I know others that share this desire, so be patient women of God. He will deliver you a righteous man to support, encourage, bless, and love you. Maybe you will never see this until I make it known to you that I desire to spend the remainder of my life with you as your husband, and you will finally read it and know how my heart has been formed for you. So many things I don’t know, but one thing I do: I praise my God always, because
Isaiah 55:9 - As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. [says the Lord]
So because I don’t understand, and I give it all up in faith, I am excited for the future, and long for the day that you will be mine.
Love,
Michael
